No More Nonsense!

Bridgette Rants and Raves

Day 7: I’m sorry…it’s been so good I missed another day

So yesterday I got a call from a potential account I had pitched several months back and they asked if I could submit a proposal for them on a graphic design project. After all this time…all my trying and material sending, I only got a meager reply and then months later they called and initiate it themselves. Thank you Universe!

Ahhhhh….even better news! I kissed a boy!!!! And a good one. Don’t get excited, though. I get bored quickly. But man, that dry spell had me checking out the ladies so this is definitely good news.

Back to the point: this remaining in a state of gratefulness thing was tremendous.  It wasn’t about being fake happy. It was about focusing on the things that made me real happy and not focusing so much on the other things. Usually we do this in reverse. We can have a really great day and then let one bad moment that’s mildly trivial ruin the entire day (see my day 2). And when our mood changes, our outlook changes. When our outlook changes, the things we attract to us change as well. So this whole week, I focused on attracting good and so that’s what I got!

If you didn’t do it with me, do it now. Tell me what happens!

This is definitely a habit I want to keep up.

Gratefulness Day 5: Yeah, I missed one

Okay, yeah so I got busy….but it’s been AWESOME!!! Opening up to the “Universe” (bka God) has opened up my life, my opportunities, my confidence, and my sex life (phew, I was headed toward nun-dom for a minute)!!!

-bet you never thought you’d read God and sex in the same sentence and it’d be a good thing, huh? He invented it! Get off my back-

ANYWAYS! I am so high on life.

Oh my gosh, so much has happened in the last three days….and it all just naturally flowed. I love it.

{sigh}

You’ve got to try this.

Don’t waste it: The One That Got Away

Well, last night, he came back. Full force.

He told me everything I ever wanted to hear and hoped he had felt and things I never knew he had even thought of.

This boy is the one boy I’ve ever truly opened my heart up to and when I did, my greatest fear happened; I got hurt beyond repair….


He and I shared this attraction, this…passion…this connection that maybe only happens once in a lifetime. You’ve probably had one of those. The relationship that, even when it ends, it’s never really over? We both knew we were “meant to be” together but back then neither of us was mature enough to know how to navigate that kind of love and we were both terrified of the power we knew it had over us. And it definitely had power.

Even when we tried to walk away from each we couldn’t. We tried to destroy it and make it go away. I know that sounds horrible but people do it all the time. It’s when you meet a good person that you know could love you for life, but you don’t let it in for petty, regrettable reasons. Same thing.

Of all the crap we put our relationship through, over the years, its still held on and is alive and very well today.

There have been spans of months where I’ve told him to just go away. I like peace in my life and I always felt like we were both pushing and pulling against one another because we would not give in to our relationship and just let our hearts love one another. The friction created such a distraction from everything else that we literally became emotionally toxic to one another. So much so that I would often just walk away instead of staying and dealing with what was going on. Definitely the wrong thing to do. But I didn’t know how else to handle it. And I require so much of myself that I could not let these emotions get in the way of my goals.

But no matter how many times I walked away, he was always first in my heart. No matter how many boys I dated, no matter how much time passed, and no matter how much I try to block it out, my body knows…it knows. So for the first time in over a year, we sat down last night and just talked. We are recently off of a no communication sabbatical (dictated by me) and this time, I really intended to never see him again. I had finally accepted that no matter how strong our feelings are for one another we just can’t seem to get on the same page so forward movement simply had to occur.

The second night after I walked away from him this last time – this was about two months ago – I mourned our relationship in a way I had never experienced. I think it was just that I had finally decided to let it go and it hurt me so much that I actually cried in my sleep. Didn’t cry awake at all, but I remember waking in the middle of the night sobbing. So pathetic, right? It is. I know. But it’s real.

To know that that kind of love exists in the world but that so many of us trick ourselves out of the opportunity to capture it…my gosh. Our relationship was never about sex or money or taking from the other person. From day one we loved each other with no good reason for it. And even when we’ve been apart, there’s never been a moment that we could not reach one another or when we really left one another. Even when there were states between us.

Man, this is hard to write. Especially since I don’t know what I’m going to do. I think I know what I “should” do. But I’m so afraid. We’re both afraid and we’ve made that very clear to one another. We’d never fully done that before.

Before we got together last night I talked with a girlfriend of mine. I didn’t even know she had been in a similar situation. She said that she walked away from the man she loved and married a safe bet out of fear. Now she’s back with the man she loved (yay) but going through a divorce with the other guy and she and her real love have lost eight years of time they could have had together and now they’re too old to have kids. She told me that if he’s telling me I’m the one and I want it, don’t waste it. Don’t waste it.

That’s what I would say to you, girls. No matter what you’ve got facing you right now.

No matter what you’re debating or trying to get in order, don’t waste it. We tend to act like we’ve got all the time in the world to do the things we want to do. We rarely take a moment to recognize the high level of mortality in life.

You hear this all the time, but please hear every word of it right now: YOU DO NOT HAVE FOREVER.

This shit does end. And usually suddenly. Then it’s over.

If there’s something you want to do, do it. If you’re scared, screw it, do it anyway. If you do it with your whole heart from the beginning, even if it doesn’t work out, you won’t have any regrets and you’ll have learned something valuable. I think that’s the greatest “trick” in life; to live in a manner that creates the fewest regrets.

Don’t let an opportunity slip through your fingers when it’s something you know you’ve always wanted. Step up to the plate, and try. Take what you want. It’s sitting right there and if you don’t like it later, you CAN change your mind. But if you don’t take it now, who knows if it will be there tomorrow.

Take it, ladies.

Don’t waste it.

Gratefullness Day Two: “Son of a Biscuit!”

So I’m 24 hours into this remaining in a state of gratefulness thing and, damn it’s hard to not let other people upset your mood.

I was feeling super all day! Way focused on being happy, had some really great things happen, got to talk to some old friends, wonderful, wonderful day. Then one text message screwed up my whole mood.

I was sitting in my new place (yay!) getting some work done and I emailed my new landlord whose condo I had just taken possession of six or so hours earlier. I thanked him and told him how excited I was and said I hope he enjoyed the rest of his week. I cc’d the two realtors who put it all together and thanked them in the email as well. He replied back to me that he was glad I was happy and that he would contact me when he was in Vegas next so we could meet. I said that was great and that I looked forward to it.

No problems right?

Five minutes later I get a text. “Send a pic so I know what you look like.” I’m thinking ‘who the hell is this.’ I’ve been doing a bit of online dating but I have only given my number out once or twice but I do not recognize this number. Something inside says look at the realtor email. Sure enough where the realtor had listed the owner’s info was the number that I was receiving this text message from.

A little background: he and I had only spoken once and it was on this very day a few hours before I moved in. No texts no other talking except a confirmation email from him regarding lease terms.

So I’m a little thrown off but I know how I tend to over analyze, so I decide to take control of the situation (my new thing) and protect the professional relationship without hurting his feelings. So I write back saying, “Tell you what, I have a website about myself coming out next week and I’ll send you a link when it’s ready.”

He writes me back: “I have your drivers license.”

Okay. This guy definitely just crossed the creepy line and there goes my state of gratefulness for the day.

I try to not over-react still and I do not want to piss off the guy who owns my house (which the sheer fact that he is putting me in this position is really, really, really making me angry). So I keep it light and write back, “shoot, you are right. I forgot :)” Hoping this would be the end of this conversation.

Not even close.

So he writes me back, “So text or email me a nice one.”

I am immediately almost in tears and I am terrified.

Here I am way happy about being in this new place and how beautifully it all flowed together…sitting in my new living with my tasty glass of wine, surrounded by boxes, working on the Haute Chix website and loving every second of it and here comes this guy fucking it up (excuse my English).

So here I am, stuck between a rock and a hard place. How do I stand up for myself so I do not feel “lorded over” by my landlord, and make him leave me alone without offending him?

So I write back “I am feeling very uncomfortable” to which he responds, “ok.”

Okay! He’s got it. Just a lonely rich guy who saw a cute young beauty queen and wanted to give it a shot. Did I consider becoming his “lady friend” so I could stop paying rent for a while? Okay, you got me. But I know that kind of lifestyle comes with a price and I have worked too hard for too long to even thinking about going “there.”

So, back to work and wine! After all, this guy isn’t a Vegas guy, Bridgette. He’s a Texan, my hometown. Plus the realtor guy told me how nice and easy to work with he is so he’s just trying to be friendly and get to know me a bit, right?

New text: “what’s your website.”

Oh my gosh. Goal: be polite but end this conversation.

“It’s a new site for my new title so it’s not online yet. I’ll send you a link when it goes live.”

Are we done now?

“Ok.”

YES!

Alright, back to sipping and worki-

“Are you on FB?”

Son of a biscuit!

And that’s it. No response from me.

So now here I lay, the sun is rising on day two of my one week of staying in a state of gratefulness and I’m reliving this tale from last night that basically bitch-slapped me into feelings of fear and vulnerability. I tried to pep-talk my way out of it last night but it was rough and I was tired and I kept trying to minimize in order to help myself get over it, but re-counting it to you here now helps me see why I could not just let it go. He definitely crossed a line.

What do you think?

Looking forward, today is fully of good deeds and wonderful times. I had decided yesterday that today I was going to celebrate the new place and just have fun all day and go meet up with my buddies and have wine and be happy and enjoy this moment because I usually let the good moments pass by.

It’s going to take some pushing but I am going to get to a place where I can keep that plan today. I am still giving the universe seven days of gratefulness and, damn it, I am not going to stop for anyone!

If you haven’t started yet, come rock it with me.

I guarantee the day will soon come that I will be glad this guy did what he did (remember not being upset over anything that happens? Such an important skill).

“Give The Universe Seven Days”

ImageIs it just me or do we seem to get further toward our destination when we stop pushing so hard?

Last night I had a law of attraction style thinker {WAIT! Keep reading…give it a sec} talk to me about “the secret” and the state of gratefulness.

Pre-conceived notions aside, I do have to admit that the natural flow of help when I’m not acting all tunnel visioned is definitely spot on. Today, in fact, I am moving into a glorious villa that I in no way prepared for myself. I wasn’t even looking for it, even though I really wanted it, “the Universe” brought it straight to my door and I’d bet my boots that its appeared right now, at this particular time for a reason (sorry for the boot reference).

But think about it. I’m sure you’ve had a flow of circumstances and connections come together in a way that you had absolutely no hand in, did not seek out proactively, but totally desired on the inside and found to be a priceless asset in the near thereafter.

So it’s hard to deny that there is something to this idea of relaxing yourself, continuing to do what you want to do, but doing it because you absolutely love it, not because you feel pressured to do so.

Another important thing the lady spoke was about business owners who sell from a state of desperation.

We’ve all met them at a networking event (or twelve). They never say it but you can feel the desperation radiating off of them. It’s sort of like, ‘if I don’t sell a set of encyclopedias tonight, I’M SCREWED!”

The sad part is, even if we may have been remotely interested in what they were sellng, all we can see and feel now is that state of desperation and it is a distraction and a turn off from any sort of potential, profitable interaction.

Can’t deny that.

So I’ve made a decision. I’m going to give it a shot!

A one week trial of opening up to the Universe and letting it bring me the things I want and need in order to get to where I want to be.

Will you join me?

Meditate and breathe with me in a state of gratefulness. LOL. Seriously. This could totally change us for the better.

Here’e s the exercise she gave to help you get there mentally: Imagine you are on an airplane going across the Pacific Ocean. The plane is packed and suddenly the pilot comes over the speaker and announces there is a fatal problem and the plane is about to go down.

Seriously. Imagine it for a moment….

How do you feel, what are you thinking about, what’s your one greatest wish? Your greatest regret…?

This is it.

So the plane goes down and everyone drowns and dies in the crash. Except for you. Wow.

Holy crap, you have this whole new respect for life. You’ve got a second chance in the world. My God, you’re alive!!!!

Now you’re in the perfect state of a sense of gratefulness. Really take the time to consider that, really, you have a blessed life and there is nothing that cannot be overcome and, thus, nothing that needs to be complained about. Sure there are some extenuating circumstances, but let’s not go to extremes. Let’s focus on the fact that at this very moment, you have all the tools you need to get exactly what you want. Be grateful for them. Change your state of mind from desperation and fear, to gladness and excitement.

Let’s give the universe seven days and let’s watch and see what it gives back to us.

Last chance for Old Year’s Resolution! L

Last chance for Old Year’s Resolution!
Last month I decided that instead of waiting until the new year to make a resolution that I would basically not keep as the months went by, I would make one for the end of the year and, thus, have a more attainable deadline. So do it with me! What’s yours? Still thinking on mine…

Tip of Day: Advance Your Place In the Co

Tip of Day: Advance Your Place In the Competition’s Face
Want to get ahead? Stay in motion during the holidays.
So many businesses “slow their roll” Mid-November-early January because of the holidays.
Capitalize on this!
Take a snapshot of where you are. Create a six week strategy. Execute.
You’ll come out ahead of where you are now by new years and may even leave competitors looking baffled.
Rock it.
Love, B

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